RESET (giving a shit)

I am a firm believer in the “reality 2x4.” So much so that I have a chunk of 2x4 in my office with “reality” burned into it. It acts as a reminder because, for some reason, at my age, I need a reminder.

The universe’s version will smack you upside the head from time to time, as it deems necessary. Never with warning or notice. I have had such a reminder applied recently. And I am grateful for it.

I won’t go into the personal details (you’re welcome), but I will say it hurt and scared the heck out of me. No, it scared the shit out of me.

I had let go of all that mattered, big, small, personal, professional, minor, and significant. Nothing mattered for close to a year. And I won’t blame the COVID pandemic on all of it, but sure, it played a role. Part of me felt all I could do was quit, stop caring. Partly as an act of self-preservation. Partly as an act of spite.

Thankfully, the 2x4 did its specific job.

I have started to meditate again. I am reading again. And I have fallen in love with a pocket-size sketchbook and the act of journaling. And as an act of cleaning, I destroyed some old journals full of past anger and points of view.

As part of my reset, I re-read Austin Kleon’s books. I have also stopped checking the news when I first wake up. That single act has been a game-changer bringing some calmness to my morning routine.

My general mood has been optimistic (when I don’t look at the news and read how COVID will kill everything we love). My anxiety is in a calm state. I don’t hate life and can again see the value of kindness and compassion. But like everything in life that has value, you have to work at it. Do the work.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my wife. Her act of bravery saved me and our relationship. Maybe it was her swinging the 2x4. Regardless, I am deeply grateful.

So back to work. Back to life. Back to being a better me and hopefully helping to create a better environment for all those I hold dear.