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“Plateaus are actually very comfortable because it takes less energy to move. The problem is the dark. Perhaps the solution is to step aside and allow a flash to trot by. With a little light from that torch we may find the next step.” — from The Dark in the Middle of the Stairs by Paula Scher
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Well at least the trees look pretty. (Taken with instagram)
I’m turning 44 this year (today, actually). Geesh, 44 years old – that is starting to sound “old” – but I still don’t feel that old and I really hope I’m not acting my age, yet. The tacking on of another year combined with my son heading to middle school next year got me to thinking – thinking about how time keeps moving by and doesn’t slow down (or turn around) for the things we didn’t get done. As a parent, I feel one of my responsibilities is to provide my son with what I’ve learned in life. The basics. The “do’s and don’ts” of life.This isn’t a set of rules. No, it is more like a set of suggestions and bits common sense.
So here you go Enzo, a list for you…it’s a work in progress (as life is) and they are not in any particular order…
1. Be on time
Nobody wants to wait for you. Leave early. Set your watch ahead. Figure out how to get there before you leave. Whatever it takes. Don’t be late – it is rude and makes you look lazy.
2. Chew with your mouth closed
They’re manners, not rocket science. Get your elbows off the table. Don’t talk with food in your mouth. Manners = class. Be classy. Always.
3. Say “please” and “thank you”
This is something you can do even with your friends. As soon as you say “please” and follow it with “thank you” you elevate how others view you. Thank you.
4. Don’t lie
Just don’t. You’re better off telling the truth, even if it brings about punishment or pain. It is too easy to get caught up in a storm of lies – you won’t remember what is true and what isn’t. Your credibility is important – don’t work against yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not - posers are weak. Be strong.
5. Don’t loan money to friends or family
It opens up too many possibilities for a very uncomfortable conversation and for hurt feelings. Suggest a good bank or just give them the money.
6. Don’t borrow money from friends or family
See #5. That’s what you have a bank for or better yet, work harder.
7. Don’t date people you work with
Yep, your pen/company ink. It just creates too much opportunity for ugliness later. It may seem like a really good idea but it isn’t. Might even get you fired.
8. Own your actions
If you’re going to do something, then do it. Do it and don’t be afraid to tell people that you did it. If you don’t want people to know you did it then maybe you should rethink it. Be purposeful.
9. Be tolerant of others
Everybody has rights and dreams. Just because you do something or do not do something does not mean anyone else should or should not. Exception: if someone is hurting someone then this goes out the window. Stand up for those that can’t stand up for themselves.
10. Speak your mind
Got something to say? Say it. Does you no good to bottle those things up. Use your head and always be honest. There is a time and a place for everything. Think before you open your mouth.
11. Work hard
Lazy gets you nowhere. Nobody is going to do your work for you. Don’t cheat and don’t expect things you want to just happen. Make them happen with hard, honest work. What you put in is what you get out.
12. Love for the right reasons
The word love is bigger than you realize and the feeling is bigger yet. Don’t just toss it around. Remember this: love = trust. If you don’t trust them then you probably don’t love them. Don’t play with someone else’s heart – it’s not a toy. Love is wonderful. Respect it.
13. Remember it’s not always about you
We all live on the same planet, breathe oxygen and pay taxes. Sometimes you have to put the needs of others before your needs. You can’t always be first in line. Be patient.
14. Don’t stand in the way of others
Move it along. You’re not the only one on the road, the sidewalk or trying to get to Point B. You’re also not the only one with goals and dreams. Be considerate of other people. Work together and we’ll all get there - in one piece.
15. It’s okay to say “no”
Since you live on the same planet, breathe oxygen and pay taxes you have a voice, a say, in just about everything you do (except the paying taxes part). If you don’t want to, then don’t. If they try to make you – walk away – they don’t have your best interests in mind.
16. Practice what you preach
Nobody likes a hypocrite. Stand behind your words and actions. Be real and true - people will respect you more and you’ll sleep soundly.
17. Don’t go along to get along
I live by this one. It works with #15. Go against the flow if you don’t believe in the direction of the flow. And don’t be ashamed of doing so. There are enough sheep in the world. Don’t be one. There is “right” and “wrong” in life – be “right” more than “wrong.”
18. Be humble
Don’t be a sheep, but don’t be the coyote either. Don’t be overly cocky or a jerk. It won’t get you very far in any aspect of life. Not to say you shouldn’t celebrate your accomplishments, just do it with humility.
19. Violence is bad and leads to more violence - but sometimes it’s necessary
Be nice to people – even the ones you don’t like. Don’t start the fight – but if you get in one – finish it, or go down swinging. Use your head – there is no shame in walking away from a fight either. Stand up for your friends and family, and those that can’t do it for themselves. See #8.
20. Be you
Trust your head. Listen to your heart. Be proud of who you are and what you do.
There you go, some pretty basic things that you might find useful in life. Please know this in your heart: I will always love you and will always “have your back” in life. You are more important to me that air itself.
Hopefully, one day, you will add to this list and pass it along to your children. One day far in the future. But that’s for a different list…
Thank you.
Love, dad
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